TFT Healing the Trauma of Parents Whose Children Have Died

Published in “The Thought Field”, Volume 7, Issue 3:

Trauma and Grief Across the Border

by Oneyda Maestas

My name is Oneyda Maestas. I live in a very small town called Kim, CO. I have been in the education profession for 9 years. I currently am a Kindergarten/First Grade teacher at Kim Elementary School.

My background and experience with TFT. I met Dr. Jenny Edwards during a Fielding Institute Training. She cured my “head-splitting” migraine with TFT. I was amazed as it usually takes a prescription drug to rid me of one of these headaches. I inquired more about what she had done to me and soon thereafter registered for her Level I and II TFT workshop. It was absolutely fantastic!

I began practicing TFT by tapping with my parents, co-workers, friends, and students at school (it worked well for discipline issues, anger/aggression on the playground, minor accidents). The results were phenomenal. It was amazing.

Then, Dr. Edwards informed me about a TFT workshop in Mexico City to be offered in Spanish. I was so excited, as I am a fluent Spanish speaker. In Jan./Feb. of 2001, I trained in Mexico City, TFT (TCM in Spanish). I met many people and assisted Father Luis and Dr. Edwards in administering TFT to others in the workshop.

I worked with a lady named Connie Bravo, who was also attending the conference. She is the leader of a parent therapy group, whose children have died. She found out that I was staying a few extra days after the conference and offered me room and board, if I would provide TFT to her parent group. I seized the opportunity to practice TFT in Spanish.

Connie forewarned me about every parent; their emotional states of being and attitudes/resentments. I met the group of parents, some very apprehensive.  There were mixed emotions about TFT; however, I explained that I was there as a support for Connie, as she would be administering TFT from then on.

We practiced some of the pressure points to be used and their resistance level was lessening (of course I was tapping the side of the hand for PR). I asked for volunteers. A middle aged mother and father were the first to try TCM. They were parents of two wonderful teenaged sons, who tragically died in the same car accident. We tapped for Complex Trauma with Anger/Rage and Guilt.  They were in a very emotional state and after tapping went from a 10 to a 0. They said that for the first time they felt relief, less tension, etc…They both stood up and gave me a tight emotional joyful hug.

I then proceeded one at a time treating all the other parents with similar heart-wrenching tragic stories about the loss of their children. All with great results, some with delayed reactions. All seemed less aggressive, less angry, very calm, a bit perplexed and in awe. Connie stated that it was the first time in a long while that they felt any “good” emotions. They were always ridden with guilt, anxiety, trauma, anger, rage, etc…

All great success stories, except for one very angry, isolated, resistant, enraged mother who thought that I was a big farce and that TFT was a bunch of bologna. She smoked like a train, one right after the other. This is the one Connie had really warned me about! She scared me, but I calmly approached her anyway. The parents encouraged her to at least try TFT.

Along with Complex Trauma, she informed me of a numbing pain on the side of her head/face. It was tender to the touch, much like the pain caused by an agonizing toothache that traveled from her jaw to her temple. First, we tapped for pain, 10 down to 0. She was touching the side of her face in astonishment. She couldn’t believe that she could touch her face without feeling severe pain.

She attempted a slight smile and allowed me to administer Complex Trauma with Anger and Guilt. 10 down to a  2. She was relaxed, calm, she stopped smoking the rest of the evening, she began socializing positively with other parents, and she was smiling with some bursts of laughter.

I thanked the parents for allowing me and TFT in their lives that evening. As I was saying my good-byes, the lady that scared me, came up to me from behind, turned me around and embraced me tightly with a radiant smile and joyful tears. She said that I couldn’t go back to the US; that I had to stay in Mexico City with them. The parents said that I must have had quite an impact on her, as they had never seen her smile, laugh, hug, or not complain in the years they’ve been meeting. I felt so blessed that night and knew that TFT would be a part of my life forever.

Thanks Dr. Callahan…….

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